Home > Uncategorized > Moratorium on Posting Freebies

Moratorium on Posting Freebies

I will not be posting any more freebies on this blog.

The reason for this is the reports of westerners going to Japanese stores for freebies and being extremely rude.

Only one of the four blogged freebies that led to these incidents was from my blog. That doesn’t matter. It’s one too many.

The Japanese are gentle, kind, generous, helpful, and polite people. It is their culture that emphasizes these wonderful traits. We westerners can learn much from them.

It is because of these incidents that I haven’t been posting much the past few days. It has me angry, sad, and disgusted.

The worst thing about this issue, which also happens with frequency in the western stores, is that the personality type of people who act this way inherently averts any and all atempts to get them to behave with even a modicum of decorum.

I don’t know what the answer is. I just know that, in good conscience, I can not and will not allow myself to be a conduit to abuse of people who are acting from the heart in kindness and generosity.

*takes a deep breath*

Okay. I will continue to blog purchase items made by the wonderful Japanese creators.

Thank you,

Beanie

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  1. Tarissa Tripsa
    August 13, 2008 at 12:16 pm

    I don’t know what those people did, but I guess they’re not better behaved on non-japanese freebie occasions. Don’t let your self being pulled down by that. You’re doing a great job and I love your blog since I first saw it…*slimeslime* 😉

  2. Addi
    August 13, 2008 at 12:35 pm

    People are ridiculous. I will continue to check your blog every hour or so, regardless of freebies. I have found so many gorgeous Japanese sims to explore because of your words. Don’t the the idjits get you down!

  3. August 13, 2008 at 1:55 pm

    Indeed, I agree with Tarissa. They are not rude because they are non-Japanese, they are just rude. It’s not really fair to judge all of us because some people behave badly! =)
    (And they probably behave just as bad at ‘western’ freebie occasions.)

    Please, continue to ‘build bridges’ between the SL communities, and don’t let a few people without manners stop you! =)

    Vint

  4. August 13, 2008 at 4:35 pm

    I echo the above posts, and totally understand your reasons for your decision. It is incredibly sad when the self-centred rudeness of these people overrides basic manners. Somehow they think that the anon of the keyboard gives them the right to abuse… Karma will bite their arses! I just wish that these individuals could be isolated, so that not everyone is painted by the same ugly brush *sigh*

  5. Meril
    August 13, 2008 at 4:42 pm

    Hey Beanie :o)

    First of all: I totally understand that you´re shocked and sad about what you heard… It´s rly sad that people start to misbehave just because they smell a good deal (if you ask me it makes no difference if it´s SL or RL… Asses stay asses in both lives…)

    As long as you keep up your blogging about japanese sims and stores i am SO happy, because just like Addi said before: You´ve shown us so many great locations already that re really hard to find… I just ❤ eeet =^.^=

    Sends lots of snuzzelhuggies
    Meril

  6. Sunshine Kukulcan
    August 13, 2008 at 10:51 pm

    This makes me feel ashamed. To each and every Japanese creator who was kind enough to set freebies out, origato.

    I apologize for others who do not have any manners, any respect and most of all, any inkling of what a gift it is.

    Please forgive.

  7. Grady Echegaray
    August 13, 2008 at 11:33 pm

    I am so sorry to hear this Beanie. Sad fact of life, some people just aren’t raised right. 😦
    For myself, thank you so much for blogging about the Japanese creators. They are among the best in SL. :hugs:

  8. calinacasewhiteberry
    August 14, 2008 at 3:53 am

    I’m sorry to hear there have been disrespectful individuals using and abusing their privileges. Nobody should be abused because they are nice people. To do so is wrong and demeans the wrong-doer far more than it hurts the nice person.

  9. Bou
    August 14, 2008 at 7:15 am

    Ditto all the above!
    XXX

  10. August 14, 2008 at 10:22 am

    I’m really sorry to hear this. =(

    I, like you, enjoy the Japanese sims. I first found Akiba in about March ’07 and was amazed at all the unique and different stuff there from what I was used to be seeing.

    Finding your blog has opened my eyes to yet more cool Japanese places, and cool freebies.

    It’s just a shame that some people are misusing the information, as Japanese SLers have always been incredibly nice and polite to me when I’ve chatted with them.

    Oh well, keep up the good work. 🙂

    P.S. Have you seen the Black Knight sim (a look at the map tells me there’s a second attached now)? Not a shopping sim, but a great example of Japanese creativity in SL.

  11. August 15, 2008 at 8:09 am

    That’s a real shame, but totally understandable. I’ve never understood why people can choose to be so rude – and it is a choice – when being present in someone else’s culture demands that you should take on board some of the socially acceptable behaviours. It is well known that the Japanese have a fiercely polite structure, so there is no excuse for such behaviour, other than the simple truth that they are gauche boors with more than a hint of prejudice. I also agree with other comments, in that they would disgrace themselves no matter the venue, or event. It seems it is a sad reflection of the collapse of some of our own values in the West…

  12. Shelby Rasmusson
    August 15, 2008 at 1:28 pm

    Please keep on blogging. I love the Japanese sims and have found many unique items as well as the fun of exploring.
    I admit that I used to go to a lot of places for the freebies but now find that I try to avoid going to a place just for the free stuff. After all if we want these great designers to survive and prosper we should be giving them our business as well, so I always try to make sure I buy stuff as well. I just love the way these sims are designed as well, just beautiful.

  13. Alyx Sands
    August 15, 2008 at 1:30 pm

    I love your blog, Beanie, and I accept your decision. I’ve long been pi$$ed off at people behaving like idiots when freebies are concerned. I feel sad, though, as I’ll be missing thoie great Japanese freebies now, but I do think it’s better to spare creators the hassle.

  14. August 15, 2008 at 2:05 pm

    I am said to hear that. Although many people would also be abusive and rude at a western store and seem to have some weird ideas about freebies and what is owed to them, I do think there exists a particular graceless Westerner – and to be specific, American. As an American, i know full well how xenophobic we can be. I am so grateful that CNN produces a separate version of its programming for America so the rest of the world is spared at least some of our idiocy. That CNN does this to avoid telling us unpleasant news is pathetic, but at least the rest of the world didn’t have to watch pundits foaming at the mouth that Obama said it was a good idea for kids to learn another language.

    Without hearing the details, i am willing to bet that some of the rudeness centered on not speaking English. I have seen Americans in internation dance clubs and at Hypnoz – a French club – actually say, “Speak English!” and complain about people being so rude as to speak French in a French club. It makes my head spin.

    I have met SL Americans who refuse to wear Babbler or X-trans or any other translator and have even had them insist “This is America, if people want to come to America, they better speak English.” And they say this in SL. I love my country and Americans are warm-hearted and generous people and you tell them a story of an individual in need – they will be there. But they insist on their right to be ignorant of the rest of the world and will belligerently defend their ignorance with their dying breath.

  15. August 15, 2008 at 4:53 pm

    Hello Beanie, I am so sorry to hear that you will no longer be blogging the freebies in the Japanese sims……through you………I would imagine that so many of us have discovered the Japanese sims and I never knew that they existed until you started blogging and telling of the freebies. I then went and investigated the sims and found delightful things. Too bad that the rest of us will have to suffer due to the bad manners of a few individuals. I have limited time in SL and enjoyed the leads to the nice and appreciated free items – I will miss those now without anyone blogging where to find the wonderful items.

  16. Eden Knoller
    August 15, 2008 at 5:09 pm

    I am also saddened to hear the news, Beanie. I second Casja’s suggestion of the Ugly American subtype. I am American and I see this boorish behavior in action both in and out of SL. I am embarrassed by the blatant offensiveness of some of my cohorts.

    One of the most precious elements of SL is the ability to travel the world in a day. I can immerse myself in just about any culture; though I firmly am of the opinion that I must respect and learn from other cultures vs. expecting them to bow to my will. I have met and befriended people from all over the world because of SL and they enhance my life. What a misfortune it would have been to miss out on that because I was preoccupied with bulldozing my way around so that I can snag freebies..and then complain about the content. Egads!

  17. August 15, 2008 at 5:24 pm

    I am sad, but unfortunately not surprised, that it has come to this. I haven’t had to deal with much of it personally (yet), but I’ve seen it in groups and places offering freebies, as well as heard of a great deal of it from other designer friends (one comes to mind recently of someone basically saying “I want something to these specifications as a freebie next. Next week.” after being told by the designer that there were other things on her mind than freebies at the moment).

    And if it weren’t for those people? I would have been making more fun random stuff just to give away. But they leave a sour taste in the mouth that leads me towards working on other things instead.

    Too many people have developed a sense of entitlement surrounding the whole thing. I admit, I like a good freebie- it’s led to me discovering places I may not have otherwise, as well as occasionally I’ll end up with fun things that I may not have thought “ooooo! Must have!” but that are enjoyable. Hunts can be a relaxing diversion from work upon occasion. But I don’t understand the utter lack of respect these people have.

  18. Efemera Bisiani
    August 15, 2008 at 6:22 pm

    ZOMG – just heard about this. That’s such a shame for the generous creators, and I totally see where you’re coming from Beanie, but I hope you’re not taking responsibility for such rude people – you do as much as any of us can, the best you can, acting decently and politely. Shame we can’t stop the rest of them 😦 Very glad to hear you’ll continue blogging purchasable finds tho.

    And @ Cajsa “at least the rest of the world didn’t have to watch pundits foaming at the mouth that Obama said it was a good idea for kids to learn another language” – *jaw drops in disbelief*.

  19. August 15, 2008 at 6:36 pm

    Thank you all for your very kind words about this blog. It truly makes me feel good 🙂

    I promise, I’m going to keep blogging Japanese creators’ items, along with events and places to go. There will still be ample means and opportunities to explore the Japanese sims.

    And thank you for reading what I had to say. It’s always good to be heard.

    Hugs,

    Beanie

  20. Thalia Jie
    August 15, 2008 at 6:56 pm

    It’s sad to hear that this has happened. Japanese creators have enriched our SL experience. Without exception, every Japanese creator that I have met in SL has been polite, generous with their time and unfailingly polite. I doubt very much if Japanese creators would say the same about Westerners. What does that say about us and our culture?

  21. Desiree
    August 15, 2008 at 7:28 pm

    Oh, Beanie, I am so saddened to hear that you will no longer blog the wonderful freebies to be found from our Japanese friends. Before your blog appeared, I had never thought to explore the amazing places you’ve shown me. Please tell your Japanese friends that some Americans can be extremely rude. The best way to deal with rude, insensitive people is to ban them from the sim. Just boot em out. Some people seem to forget that access to a sim is a privilege and not a right.

    And to the poster who mentioned Hypnoz – merci beaucoup! I’ve been looking for a French club for months!

  22. August 15, 2008 at 9:14 pm

    Japanese designers are some of the most talented designers in SL. They have truly earned the respect of the SL fashion industry, and to be treated with anything less is unacceptable. They have enriched my overall SL experience, and I hope the ignorance of a few will not overshadow the rest of us who truly appreciate Japanese culture and creations in SL. 🙂

  23. Ayanna Parx
    August 18, 2008 at 9:20 pm

    First of all let me say that I am of Asian culture and I know plenty of people within the Japanese, Chinese, and Thai communities that are just as rude as “Westerners”. Judging a whole demographic of people is quite unfair when this is based on a few people’s actions. No matter what part of the world you visit, you will always find a few people whose actions and manners are not quite acceptable to mainstream society.

    I have met so many nationalities in SL and it has enriched not only my RL but my SL as well. A wise woman once said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent”-E. Roosevelt…and that holds true for you. Letting a few people’s rudeness diminish who you are and how you behave (blog) is giving them power over you. There are good and bad in all races of people…look for the good and overlook the bad…I wish you much luck and love in your SL endevours…and I hope you continue to blog freebies for the rest of the SL community who loves reading your blog.

    ❤ Ayanna

  24. August 18, 2008 at 9:20 pm

    It’s your decision, obviously, and if you feel that’s the way to solve things, then you are acting according to your conscience. I would remind you, though, to heed the words saying it’s less an East vs. West issue, and more a rude vs. polite issue.

    I don’t often post freebies available in my blog, I normally post events in my life and interesting places I’ve been. But by and large, I’d say there are people who are rude, and people who are not, and it doesn’t matter what language they speak, they’re just RUDE. It’s not an East/West thing in the least.

  25. August 19, 2008 at 10:36 am

    I spoke in generalities. I’m aware that there are Japanese jerks and western saints. I didn’t bother to qualify what I said. Didn’t think I had to. Hindsight.

    There’s a spectrum of thought at one end of which lay stereotyping, and on the other end of which lay ‘we are all alike’. Both ends of that spectrum box people and deny individuality.

    I’m a middle of the road-er on that spectrum of thought. I don’t assume any individual is going to be one way or another – I get to know them on their own merits. At the same time, I appreciate and delight in, and often am envious of, various cultural heritages and influences.

    I don’t base all my thoughts on my limited experience. I read a lot that’s written by people smarter than I, I talk with people, I ask opinions of others, etc. I’m always trying to learn and gain a better, clearer understanding of the world in which we live. It’s process that I expect to last my entire life.

    Something that needs to be recognized is that I blog solely about the creations of Japanese creators in SL. That lends a context to my post. I did note that I’m aware of these incidents occuring in western stores, however I wasn’t about to take on the full depth and breadth of this issue. I kept it in context.

    I believe the Japanese culture influences a tendency to work in concert with others, and therefore to be polite, to behave in a manner that facilitates working well in concert with others. I could well be wrong.

    I believe western culture, particularly in the U.S., emphasizes more the individual, individual rights, individual success, individual wealth, entitlement, and a growing more instant gratification. I think has led to, and is leading to more, feelings of entitlement, which in turn leads to impatience, and hostility when frustrated in getting what one wants. Hence, more rudeness, as well as more other things such as road rage and violence in general. I could well be wrong about this too.

    My decision to stop blogging freebies did not come from a desire to punish abusive westerners. Nor did it come from any feeling of wanting to protect the Japanese. I sought only to alleviate my own personal feelings about facilitating abusers. I don’t want to do that in any set of circumstances.

    I’m aware I’m not responsible for abusers’ behavior. They are. I just feel better in my life if and when I, personally, can avoid opening pathways for them.

    I’ve gotten messages inworld on this issue as well as the comments here. Some people have used words like ‘punishing’, ‘suffering’, and ‘ruining’ in regards to not getting info on freebies from my blog. Those, to me, are strong words to use regarding getting info on where to get gifts. I don’t think we’re entitled to gifts in SL. I don’t think we’re entitled to info on where and how to get gifts in SL. I could well be wrong about that too.

    Anyway… I sure never expected this big a response to my decision.

    I appreciate every comment and message. They are welcome food for my learning and understanding processes, for gaining better perspective. And I thank you for sharing what you think with me and with the others here.

    Hugs,

    Beanie

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